Honeymoon's Over

Day 4 means Kate's "Honeymoon" is over. The NICU Dr.'s told us the first 3 days are considered the "Honeymoon" period, because most babies do well for that time(unless they are born sick).  It's after the first three days that the roller coaster of good days and bad days start.  Today was a good day for Kate.  She is tolerating her feedings and her tummy is not distended anymore.  She is on an IV fluid that is feeding her 95% of her intake, but they are going to start increasing her milk intake very slowly as she is able to handle it.    All signs of infections are gone.  Kate's Dr. is going to talk with an infectious disease specialist Dr. tomorrow to see what further plans or precautions they need to take.  Kate's heart has a murmur.  Tomorrow they will do an echo to see if it is her PDA that is open.   (It is a valve on the heart that usually closes when babies are born.)   75% of preemies have to have help closing this valve.  First- they try a medicine that usually closes it, but if it doesn't (10% don't) then a surgery is performed to close it. 
All the doctors and nurses have been very positive so far.  They all seem to boast about how well she is doing.   The fact that she is still on the nasal ventilator and hasn't switched back to the tubes in her lungs and that she has been able to hold her glucose levels on her own which is rare- means she is doing amazing!  The nurses have heard her cry a few times and say she has a sweet, yet feisty spirit.  She is strong- she is a fighter!
Today is my first day not going up to see her (Grandma Donette was able to go spend a few minutes with her though).  I think not being there has made me a bit more emotional.  I'm feeling so out of balance trying to maintain being a mom to my kids at home and a being a mom for Kate.  Pumping milk is consuming my days and nights. Josh and I decided we would go see her 4 x a week.  I will go one night, he will go one night, we will go together one night, and take the kids up on Sunday to see her.  We just can't stretch ourselves too thin with too many trips.  There is not much we can do for her right now either.  We can't touch her because her nerves are so sensitive.  The last few months of her NICU stay I will need to be there more to hold her and feed her.  She will probably be there until almost Christmas.  Her due date was December 4th and they told us to plan on 2 weeks after that.