LOL- Cat Fight

I think we just witnessed the first of many to come- Cat Fights!  Kennadi was walking around the house with Kinnli's glass Disney Princess Snow Globe.  This was the one present Kinnli wanted from Santa.  She's been great at keeping it out of the hands of Kennadi.... until today.  Kenndi was so proud as she entered the living room with Kinnli's prized possession.  I quickly told Kinnli she needed to get it from her before she dropped it.  Not a wise idea- two girls fighting over a glass snow globe like their lives depended on it- on a hardwood floor.  With a lot of screaming and grabbing Kinnli was able to get repossession of the globe.  As Kinnli struggled to get away from Kennadi- she fell onto her knees trying to gain her freedom.  Kennadi grabbed the back of Kinnli's shirt and was pulling on it as hard she could.  It became a tug of war with Kinnli pulling one way and Kennadi pulling the other way- I could hear the stitches on Kinnli's shirt splitting amidst the loud,  high-pitched, ear-piercing shrieks of two girls.  There were arms and legs lashing and teeth about to start gnashing.   I was holding Kate on the couch nearby, but didn't dare try to intervene on the cat-fight with one hand.  Josh was in the kitchen.  We comically locked eyes and tried not to laugh because we haven't experienced this before. In what seemed like slow motion he made his way over to them and was able to save the snow globe and separate the two angry girls.  Kennadi threw herself on the floor in a tantrum- which she is just barely figuring out how to do and Kinnli continued to cry about being choked by her shirt.  Josh and I tried to hide our smiles and keep from laughing out loud.  I'm glad we can think it's funny now, because I know for the next 18 yrs. of our lives we are going to have many of these fights with our three girls that won't be quite so funny:) LOL

Lesson learned- girls definitely fight differently than boys! 

Lessons Learned

 I have spent quite a bit of time blog hopping these last couple months (while I pumped).  It has been interesting to me that although many of the people have experienced very different trials, we all seemed to have learned a lot of the same lessons. 

Even though I feel like those first eleven weeks of Kate's journey were some of the hardest weeks I've ever experienced- I wouldn't trade them in for anything.  There is something about a trial that brings you to the very core of your existence. It helps you to realize what is most important.  It humbles, it strengthens, it awakens your senses-- it makes you grow.  These are the lessons I hold dear to my heart.  Looking back through my posts- they are very apparent. 

• The Lord's hand is in all things-blessings and miracles
• What matters most- family, friends, people- priorities and balancing time
• Have faith, not fear- God is always near
• The unselfish act of service
• Look for the small and simple things-find joy in the journey
• There are amazing people all around going through much harder trials.
 

Service is not a season- it is a lifestyle.

Service is not a season- it is a lifestyle.

One of the greatest lessons I learned through the last 5 months was that of Service.  This has been one of the lessons I probably needed most.  I've always known that service is an important part of our lives and felt it was something I needed to try and accomplish more of.  But for the past 12 years of my life I've always told myself there is a “Season for Service”- right now is the time for me to serve my family.  Service for others was put on the back burner.  I did do a little here and there, but it was hard to look outside the realms of my own busy life.  I look at it very different now!!  Although I still believe serving your husband and children needs to come first, I know that there is always a chunk of time that can be carved out of your day to serve others as well. 

If you don’t have time to serve others, you are busier than God ever wanted you to be.

In a recent general conference talk one of the speakers said, "When someone is drowning, do you say let me know if you need help?"  I really learned the meaning of this during the last three months.  Often times when someone is going through a trial they feel like they are drowning.  I know there were many days when I felt this way.  I truly appreciated all the offers I received from people when they said, “Let me know, if you need help” but it was one of the hardest things for me to ask for help when the time arose that I did need it.  It was a lot easier to accept help from others when they said things like, "I am going to help you- what do you need most?", “What day should I bring dinner?”, “What day can I watch your kids?”, or “What room in your house should I clean.”  My advice from here on out is that if you feel the inspiration to offer service, go forward with it.  Don’t just put the offer on the table- make something happen.  It will be appreciated, and most likely much needed. 

The key word with service is Inspiration.  Often times the question arises- “Is it inspiration or just perspiration?” (lol)  I think-“Does it really matter?”  It is all too easy to disregard those little inspired thoughts that cross your mind.  If you have a thought of a person go through your mind-SERVE them.  It can be something as simple as a phone call, text, a candy bar, or a card. It doesn’t matter if it is the worst or the best day of that person’s life.  It will make a difference- everyone loves to know that they are cared about.  There were many days through Kate’s journey when I felt ok, but I still received acts of service or thoughtful messages from others.  Even though I wasn’t in dire need of help- it was very touching to be loved and thought about by others!

On the other hand- I do believe that we need to pray daily that our eyes will be opened to those around us that are in need of service.  I know that the Lord will guide us to those individuals.      We need that inspiration to help others.    

My testimony was really strengthened by those tender moments when I unexpectedly received a message, or act of service from someone when I really needed it.  I know Heavenly Father prompted many people to help us during the hardest times.  I had a friend who surprised me by bringing a meal over the night before my cerclage surgery.  She had no idea I was having complications.  Neither, she or I knew the next day was going to lead to several months of hardship.  I know she was inspired that day.  More important than the meal she brought was the comfort that came through knowing Heavenly Father was there for me.  It seemed he was sending me a message saying, “I am with you.”  That same friend texted me several weeks after Kate was born on a random day and asked what she could do for me.  I was really struggling that day trying to decide who I could ask to watch my girls and she dropped everything- including work- so she could help me. On one Sunday afternoon I went to the hospital and left Josh home sick with three sick kids.  An inspired friend brought dinner over that evening, not knowing any of this.  On another occasion a dear friend brought a wagon full of frozen dinners over.  Little did we know that it was perfect timing because I would soon be spending a lot more time at the hospital preparing to bring Kate home. There were many more times that we received inspired service, including the gifts of money that helped us out so much.  I'm so grateful for all the friends and family that followed their promptings. 

  It seemed that every week we received several acts of unexpected service up until the day Kate came home.  This really surprised me after the first few weeks had passed because usually it seems that the world moves on and forgets.  I felt like people continued to remember and care for us throughout the whole eleven week journey.  I think it is important to remember to serve others often who are going through long-lasting trials that can extend for months and even years.  There are those that have lost loved ones in which their trial is that of very slow emotional healing, and there are many that have severe depression or chronic illnesses.  These people cannot not be forgotten.  

When we give of ourselves, we give the most!  The gift of time is the greatest gift of all.

I have learned that service isn't about how much money you have to offer and it doesn’t always have to take a lot of time.  Those have always been two of my biggest excuses for not doing service.  I have learned that there are many things you can do for others without spending much money or time. Sometimes it’s the little things that matter most- a phone call, a card, a text, a quick house visit, or a small act of kindness.  Take a moment to think back on your life- the most rewarding service most likely came from someone spending time with you- by either helping you do something or emotionally being available for you to talk to. 

Although time is such a valuable resource, service often takes money too.  Money comes and goes, it’s what we do with it that matters most.  There have been many times in my life when I have been prompted to serve and I’ve talked myself out of it because I felt like we didn’t even have enough money for my families needs and I couldn’t possibly spend it on someone else.  When this happens now, I remind myself of the story in the Bible in Kings ch. 17.  The Prophet Elijah asks a widow to cook him a meal with the last of her oil and flour.  Knowing that she and her son would starve to death without it, she serves him.  Have we ever been at that point- I dare to say that not many of us have.  So what's the hold up- why is it so hard to give of what we do have?  That widow was blessed for her service- her barrel of flour and jar of oil never again became empty.  We too will be blessed in more ways than we can imagine- we will not be left to starve.  Service is like “Karma”- what goes around, comes around. 
 
Service is a source of love and bonding.  My relationships have been strengthened with friends and family- old and new. I feel like service has brought many great friends into my life that I didn't know or realize were there before.  I developed and strengthened several relationships by spending time with selfless ladies that gave of their time to me.  It’s almost a sure guarantee that a friendship will be formed by getting to know each other during these times.  A strong love of appreciation will ensue for years to come. 

 Service should be an essential part of your family.  Josh and I decided that Service is one of the five values we feel are important for our children to truly learn before they are old enough to move out.  Involve your children in your service and they will see that you value it and they in turn will learn to do it also.  There is no better way to teach your kids the importance of service than by setting the example yourself.  Teach by Example.    Service in itself is rewarding.  Children will learn early on the good feeling that helping others brings and their desire to do it will increase.

  Service should be a priority every single day.  There are many things to do that are good, but they might not be the best use of time.  There are ways to cut back on daily activities to accumulate small increments of time to serve.   Priorities have to be finely tuned and balanced.  Think about how much time is spent at the gym, cleaning, reading, with friends, baking, getting ready for the day, crafting or decorating, with sports and hobbies, with screen time (ipads, tv, computers, phones,etc.).  There is always something that can be reduced or cut out and replaced with service.  It is very easy to busy ourselves with too many things that seem important in the moment when in reality they are not. 

Now & Later---Make time for the important things "Now" because they are ultimately the things that will matter the most "Later."

Service Ideas

When we love another, we see the face of God.

Because I have seen first-hand so many different forms of service, I wanted to list them as a resource.
 

Food can be:

·         Brought as a dinner

·         Money could be put on a gift card to a pizza place, fast food place, or grocery store

·         Sent as a treat or dessert

·         Frozen meals that are easy to pull out and use on a hard or busy night

·         A box of breakfast items- juice, cereal, muffins, breakfast casserole, frozen waffles, etc.

·         Bought by taking them grocery shopping or getting their grocery list and going for them

Money can be:

·         Sent anonymously

·         Raised through a fundraiser

·         Given in a card with a message of love

·         Put on a gift card for gas or other purchases

 

Time:

·         Clean a room in their house

·         Help do a house pick up

·         Take a load of laundry home to do

·         Help with a project that needs done for their work/job

·         Help with an outside project that needs to be completed

·         Mow the lawn, shovel the snow, rake the leaves

·         Take their garbage to or from the curb for garbage day

·         Stop by for a visit or to just say hello

·         Call, text, or mail a card

·         Plan a time to babysit

·         Take their kids on an outing (movie, park, bowling) to give them quiet time, or a date night

Other ideas:

·         Send flowers

·         Give a box full of household items

·         Give a gift card for a massage

·         If they are in the hospital take a bag of personal items, things to do, treats (chapstick, dry hair shampoo, hair elastics, comb, brush, gum, mints, hard candies,  lotion, toothbrush, toothpaste,  mouthwash, floss, earplugs, eye mask, shower cap, socks, soft blanket, pillowcase, sudoku, cross-words, books, magazines, paint-by-number, and don’t forget most importantly chocolate, etc.)

·         Take their kids to school, or other activities they are involved in

• Give them a gift made by you
• Take them their favorite drink or candy bar

 

I think too many of us worry that we might be too pushy or walking on territory that we shouldn't when we try to give service.  We may not feel like we know that person well enough, or know how to serve them best.  But I know that we can make some of our best friends through the service we give.  Service is an opportunity to get to know others. I don't think there are many people that would oppose you truly giving of yourself to them in service.  The service I felt the most comfortable receiving was when someone just surprised me with something they had done or were going to do.  It's hard to ask for help or even say that you need help even when someone asks.   I think sometimes those in need of service will often make you think otherwise by saying they are ok, but if you tell them you  ARE going to help them and offer several ideas of things you can do, they will most likely find a way to let you serve them.  I know that through prayer we can be guided to what kind of service people need and who to give service to. Don't question yourself- if you have the thought cross your mind- act on it.   I've also learned that service doesn't have to be given only when a person desperately needs it.  Service is always nice to receive- so if you have a feeling, do it.  It doesn't really matter if that person is having a terrible or a great day they will appreciate that you thought, cared about, and did something for them.   
 

Please share additional ideas for service in a comment below.

5 Months Old

Kate's first smile on camera

 

 Kate is 5 months old and 7 weeks old adjusted age

 

Kate is right were she should be according to her adjusted age.  She is now 10 lbs.  She smiles several times a day.  She is getting really strong and holds her head up very well.  She has been my easiest baby yet- thus far....- at least from the time she was released from the hospital. She might be trying to make-up for the nightmare she put us through during her hospital stay.  She is just so easy going and laid back.  I've never had a baby that is so content to sit in a swing or lay on a blanket.  She is happy to sit around, listen, and watch all that is going on around here.  I'm sure she's pretty entertained with the circus act we perform daily at our house.  The only consistent time she demands daily attention(besides her feeding time) is when it's dinner time and we are trying to dish all the Hungries their food.  She doesn't want to miss out on the family meal- she must see the importance of family dinners already-or maybe she just wishes she could eat something besides that nasty formula!  So Kate sits on my lap as I eat and Kennadi usually makes her way over to Josh's lap part way through dinner. It's quite the juggling act!! 

 

Even better is trying to eat with two babies on my lap:)



18 Miracles

A couple months ago we watched the movie "17 Miracles".   It inspired me with the idea to count the miracles in Kate's journey once she came home.


 I believe miracles happen daily.  They don't have to be huge, most are small.  I know if we are looking, we will find them.  I don't believe in coincidence or irony.  I tend to believe in and look for signs. I think our Heavenly Father is always trying to show us he is near!  I believe that even though things don't always happen the way we want them to, the good, the bad, the ugly- there are always valuable lessons to be learned. Some trials happen due to the choices we make, and other trials happen just because- with no understandable reason behind them. I believe the Lord's hand is in every trial to help, heal, and provide miracles!

These are just very short descriptions- most of the details are in past posts. 

WARNING: The first part of this might be one of those posts that is "too much information"....

18 Miracles

1. Making the Call- My very minimal pre-labor symptoms gave me a strong enough feeling that I needed to call and get an appointment with my doctor rather than ignoring or watching them for a couple days.
2. Scheduling-I saw Dr. Young on Monday and he was headed out of town on Wednesday. Although my pre-labor symptoms were very minimal and I wasn't dilated, he felt like I needed a Cerclage.  He had a full schedule on Tuesday, but felt he should still try to fit my Cerclage surgery in.  He was able to arrange the schedule so I could have it done.
3. The Cerclage itself was a miracle.  I was already dilated to a 4 by Tuesday morning and Kate's head was right there- she was ready to come.  It was almost impossible to put the Cerclage in.
4. Prolonged Labor- It was a miracle that the Cerclage prolonged my labor for another 10 days.  Emergency Cerclages like that usually don't hold for more than just a few days. 
5. The Picture- After I had only been in the hospital for a short time, I was taken down to ultrasound to see how things looked with my labor and Cerclage.  The ultrasound tech and Dr. Granier, a neonatal specialist, were in the room.  They took pictures of the ultrasound and showed me what was going on.  The baby's head was right at the opening, the Cerclage was nowhere to be seen, and the amniotic sac was bulging.  They basically told me I had better not do anything except get up to use the bathroom.  I most likely wouldn't make it much longer before I had the baby.  I went back to my room and called Josh.  I then called extended family to tell them what was going on.  I was pretty scared at this point and asked them all to pray for Kate and I.  They all immediately gathered together with their kids and had family prayers for us.  My dad came up that evening and we talked and cried for awhile.  He asked if he could give me a blessing.  It was a very touching and reassuring blessing that all was in the Lord's hands.  Shortly after my dad left, my doctor came in to see what was going on.  He looked at the picture and decided he needed to check what was going on for himself.  His findings were nothing close to being in the same ball park as what the picture showed.  He said the Cerclage was completely in tact and closed, and he couldn't feel the amniotic sac or the babies head.  He said the picture had to be wrong.  He even had a nurse come check also to get a second opinion.  She confirmed what he had said.  I was in awe and knew I had just witnessed a miracle due to a priesthood blessing and many very sincere prayers!  I stayed pregnant for almost a week longer- and every day made a tremendous difference in Kate's development.   
6. "The Angel's Veil"-Kate's birth story
7. Timing-The timing of the delivery- Dr. Young had the intuition of what needed to happen and when.  Had I not been in the OR ready to deliver at that time- both Kate and I could've died from the placenta abruption.  It was a miracle that it didn't abrupt any sooner. 
8. Ecoli- When Kate was born she tested positive for Ecoli.  Babies get super sick when they have this.  Kate was immediately treated for it, but the doctors were baffled that she had it because she showed no signs of it by the way she behaved. 
9. PDA- One of the first things we worried about with Kate was that her PDA valve in her heart wasn't closing on it's own.  This is actually a very typical thing.  The first treatment for this is through medicine and that will usually close it.  A second round of medicine is given, if not.  The third step is surgery.  The surgery was explained to me as somewhat simple in comparison to other heart surgeries, but I couldn't stand the thought of Kate undergoing that. We had a family fast as Kate received her second round of medicine.  I later found out that many people in the community also joined in with us.  Just before we headed to church on fast Sunday, I received a phone call from the doctor confirming that her PDA had closed. 
10. Small Triumphs- Kate had many small triumphs in the NICU: only two blood transfusions, and she was the NICU's best 25 weeker binky sucker (which played a role in how quickly she learned how to eat).
11. No Complications- The fact that Kate had no complications during her NICU stay was a huge miracle!
12. Reconnect with Kristi-One of those tender mercies, in which I consider a miracle, happened on a random day that I visited the NICU at a time when I usually didn't go in. I showed up to the NICU and Kristi was Kate's nurse.  I didn't recognize her at first, but after a few minutes of talking to her, it hit me that she was one of Kam's primary nurses 8 yrs. ago.  She now worked mostly as a charge nurse, but today she was taking a small part of a shift for someone.  I was so excited to reconnect with her.  We were able to visit for quite sometime.  She shared some very sad, hard, personal stories with me about her experiences with two of her own babies- one of them being a preemie.  I learned a lot from her- and truly admire her strength with what she has been through.  I saw the Lord's hand that day. I know he cares about our relationships and the things we can learn from eachother- that's why the world- truly is "a small world after all".
13. Modern medicine and technology- all that tangible "stuff" that saved Kate's life. 
14. The staff at the NICU are all miracle workers- I believe most are guided by spiritual promptings to do what's best for all those babies. 
15. Eating- Kate learned to eat so quickly - within one week.  
16. Discharge date- The fact that Kate was discharged one day before Kam was released (Nov. 9th) from the NICU is kind of a really weird- mind blowing- miracle.  She was supposed to come home close to Christmas and she came home Nov. 8th. 
17. Kate's friends- Other miracles I met along the way- Baby: Kash, Rosie, Boston, Jack-Jack, and Lucy.  These babies filled the nursery with their sweet, strong spirits.   I will forever cherish the friendships I made with their parents. 
18. Tithing- Josh and I don't live "High on the Hog."  Usually, we are living pretty tight, and pay check to pay check.  I take care of the finances and keep it on a frugal budget plan.  I choose to work as little as possible so that I am able to spend most of my time as a Mother.   When Kate was born our finances flew out the window.  We had medical bills coming at us every which way on top of the additional $300-$400/month we spent in gas to commute to the hospital.  I simply didn't have the time or the mindset to deal with it all.  For the 11 weeks that she was in the hospital, we somehow were so blessed not to have any financial complications.  I wasn't able to keep track of where the money was going or how much we had left, but by some miracle we managed.   We received blessings that came through paying our tithing.  I know our Father in Heaven helped us to manage and survive.  He also blessed us through the service of others.  We were blessed by so many people who sacrificed and gave of their own income to help us out.  We saw it in the form of money, gift cards, and the many meals that were brought into us. 

Smile

Kate's First Smile



Kate finally shared her first smile with us two days ago!  Although she is a Mama's girl, she gave her dad her first smile.  I was starting to get a little anxious for her to smile.  I eagerly wanted her to meet her first developmental milestone- the Smile:)  I feel like this is a great sign that she is mentally there and capable of responding to us. Such a relief.  Even though she is 5 months old,  she is realistically only 6 weeks old.  Her smile came right on her adjusted age norm.  She's still very particular about giving her smiles out, so I haven't been able to catch it on camera.  But as soon as I do- I'll add it to the blog.